Time we'll never get back

We hear all the time that we spend a third of our lives sleeping. What about other precious time? How much time that we’ll never get back d...

Eliza Dushku and my swimming pool

One advantage or disadvantage of living in Los Angeles is that some production company might want to use your house for filming.   My house ...

A rare un-aired Larry Gelbart pilot

UPDATE:  UNFORTUNATELY, THIS VIDEO HAS BEEN TAKEN DOWN.  I invite you to scroll up or down and read other posts.   Sorry about that. Few peo...

Coping with comedy writer depression

This is a serious Friday Question. More humor tomorrow but today I need to address this. Usually I frown on Anonymous posters but not in t...

These are the pilots they're making this year

In a mission far more dangerous than anything they’ve tried on COVERT AFFAIRS, THE AMERICANS, HOMELAND, 24, or CUPCAKE WARS, I managed to ob...

One of those great network stories

 ABC has a pilot in development.  Here's the logline:  When Terry Gannon, a recently divorced, single mother, temporarily moves in with ...

Inside THE PRICE IS RIGHT

My daughter Annie recently attended the taping of THE PRICE IS RIGHT (it will air tomorrow morning, Wednesday) and along with her writing pa...

NEWS FLASH: I will be taking over GIRLS

An official announcement will be made later today, but I have been given an offer I couldn't refuse and so I am returning to series tele...

A discovered treasure

Tomorrow is the Real Don Steele's birthday.   He would have been 77.   He was the world's most exciting disc jockey and proud to say...

WTF???

What did the Jews ever do to Words With Friends?

Do I know how to read women or what?

A few years ago I went to see a rather unusual play called TAMARA. The theater is actually a mansion and the audience follows around the v...

Friday Questions

Ready for some Friday Questions? Sarah has one regarding a recent post on how you don’t have to write jokes to get laughs. In the second s...

My thoughts on Fallon replacing Leno

So Jimmy Fallon is going to succeed Jay Leno and take over THE TONIGHT SHOW. At one time a change in TONIGHT SHOW hosts was a huge deal. ...

THE AMERICANS: My review

It’s amazing how much shit you’ll overlook if you just like a show. Case in point is me and THE AMERICANS. The premise is a tad far fetche...

The pilot you will never see

This is one of those posts where I will ask you to kindly indulge me. There’s no great point. No major lesson. This is just a chance for m...

Phil Spector: My verdict

If David Mamet had made LINCOLN, the official cause of the president’s death would be boating accident. There’s creative license and there...

What are your favorite apps?

This is an idea I flat out stole from writer friend Jay Kogen, but what are the iphone/ipad apps you just can't live without?   There ar...

50 of the most beautiful women ever

This is an amazing video.

We'll always have Vegas

This is the first weekend of March Madness.   Several years ago me and a bunch of my insane friends went to Las Vegas for the four-day colle...

Friday Questions

Next week I’ll have Good Friday Questions but these are pretty decent too. Joseph Scarbrough has a follow-up to my post on anthologies: If ...

Stage direction -- cut it

Recently I participated in a screenplay reading. As I’ve said on numerous occasions, readings are a terrific way to really access your scre...

Random rants

This is what happens when I bang out a blog post at 1 AM.  I take no responsibility if nothing makes sense.  Is there a show where Titus Wel...

Diagnosing problem scripts

Here’s a Friday Question worth an entire post: It’s from Charles H. Bryan: Are there times when you look at a script (yours or someone els...

Passing the comedy torch

The torch has been passed from Levine & Isaacs to Levine & Emerson. My daughter Annie and her partner Jon saw their first script pr...

St. Paddy's Day at CHEERS

Here’s my annual St. Patrick’s Day post.  This is a scene from a CHEERS David Isaacs and I wrote. One of the many Bar Wars episodes....

My snarky history with AMERICAN IDOL

I reviewed AMERICAN IDOL this week and mentioned it would be my last of the season.  The show has gotten stale and routine.  But for several...

A GREAT commercial

Just click on the little Vimeo.com link in the screen. It will take you to the commercial. Le papier ne sera jamais mort / Paper is not de...

Friday Questions

Beware the Ides of March but heed these Friday Questions. Jim S starts us off: You talked about laughter in the writer's room. My questi...

It's time for AMERICAN IDOL to say goodbye

As longtime readers of this blog know, for years a regular weekly feature was reviewing AMERICAN IDOL. I could usually count on at least o...

How to get laughs without writing jokes

Most people think that to be a good comedy writer you have to be a good joke writer. That’s not true. Joke writing is a nice talent to hav...

EXCLUSIVE!! The REAL story behind Ann Curry's firing.

There’s been much finger-pointing following the public execution – excuse me, “reassignment” of Ann Curry from her position as co-host of TH...

GIRLS and "likeability"

A recent article in ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY defending GIRLS accuses the haters of not appreciating the show because the characters aren’t likab...

I hate Pop-Up ads!!!

Okay, this is me going on a rant.I will not buy anything I see in a pop-up ad. They are the most annoying form of advertising ever devise...

Richard Burton & Jack Elam offered the same part

Here's a belated Friday Question time: From Chris Andelman: My question is about writing episodes for guest actors. Do you ever sign the...

Friday Questions

Here are answers to some of your Friday Questions: Mitch gets us going: Your comment about ONE DAY AT A TIME falling between the cracks prom...

Solving a writer's nightmare

What do you do when you have to write a script and on page two you’re stuck? You’ve cleared the story with the producers, the outline has ...

10,000 hours of practice

 This is one of those posts that seems like it's about sports but it's more about life and has a funny payoff.  Non-sports fans are ...

DOWNTON ABBEY season 3 review

Okay, now that’s it been a few weeks since the DOWNTON ABBEY season finale I think I’ve given sufficient time for everyone who has recorded ...

Meet the creators of THE GOOD WIFE

 (I wanted to call this post "Inside The Good Wife" but that just seemed wrong.) One of the many fine programs the WGA Foundation ...

Sunday miscellaneous

Who does Nate Silver like for the next Pope? The good and bad about Los Angeles: Yesterday it was 82 degrees. But you couldn’t drive north...

When your girlfriend's father HATES you

From time to time I've been featuring excerpts from my book about growing up in the San Fernando Valley -- THE ME GENERATION... BY ME (a...

In memory of Bonnie Franklin...

So sorry to hear of the passing of Bonnie Franklin. She was 69. In the mid ‘70s thru mid ‘80s she was the mom on ONE DAY AT A TIME. I had...

Creator/deserters

Ready for some Friday Questions?  Gazzoo starts us off: For decades I’ve been convinced that the first two episodes of the seventh season of...

The 30th anniversary of the last MASH episode

Today marks the 30th anniversary of the finale of MASH. For many years it was the single highest rated television program in history. No...

Worst new tech invention EVER

In the techno-gadget mad crazy race to keep inventing the next big iThing, Google has come up with the worst idea yet, maybe ever – glasses ...

Seth MacFarlane won't host next year's Oscars

Seth MacFarlane today tweeted that he has no intention of hosting next year's Oscar ceremony.  This could be because the assignment is s...

Final thoughts on the 2013 Oscars

Thanks to everyone for your comments on my Oscar review. A few thoughts, clarifications, rebuttals, concessions, and miscellaneous crap. F...

My 2013 Oscar review

The Oscars broke new wind last night. For the first time ever they were hosted by a man who left visible slime trails. The only awards sho...

Writing the Academy Awards

I’ve never written for the Oscars. I would very much like to, just for the experience. But from what I understand it’s a horrible thankles...

How the Best Picture Oscar is determined

Getting you ready for the Oscars tomorrow night. As always, I will be reviewing them Monday morning. But for today… Ever wonder how the M...

Missing actors and authors

Join in the fun! Leave your questions in the comments section. Thanks. Rob starts us off: Around 1977 there were a series of episodes wher...

Comics

When I was six I could draw Popeye. The only time I was popular in my entire sixteen-year school career was in the first grade because I wo...

The pros and cons of gangbanging

How's that for a provocative title?    Actually, this is a post about TV comedy writing.  Sorry.  It stems from a Friday Question that&#...

If I wrote for GIRLS

Allow me to channel my inner 25-year-old girl with tattoos and try my hand at GIRLS. INT. APARTMENT BATHROOM – NIGHT Hannah (Lena Dunham) i...

Some random thoughts, rants, and suggestions

Haven’t done this in awhile so what the heck?   True story: Was in a restaurant Friday night. By mistake we made reservations for four ins...

A former U.S. President is today's guest blogger

Hello. In honor of President’s Weekend, one of Ken’s favorite holidays, he asked me to be a guest blogger. Of course I said yes. Not like...

Guys are not going to want to f**k her

 Of all the things I've posted over the last eight years, this has been my most requested.  And since we're right in the middle of p...

How we determined credit

Got some Friday Questions & Answers for ya. Chris starts us off: Does WGA have any rules about who goes first on a writing team credit?...

Happy Valentine's Day

Not my favorite holiday.  My big problem with Valentine’s Day is that it’s also my birthday. Try going out to a nice celebration dinner whe...

Fox announces "ShortComs"

Fox has announced an experimental series for the summer called “Shortcoms.” These will be hour shows split into four segments. Each segme...

Terrestrial Radio sucks

WARNING: ONE OF MY RANTS Terrestrial Radio is the guy in an iron lung who’s smoking. Except the guy is smart enough to know he’s dying. For...

Let's play Over-Under!

It’s always fun to involve you readers in a blog post. Today let’s play Over-Under! Over-under is a betting term. A certain number is as...

M*I*S*H M*A*S*H

By popular demand, more MASH stuff. (I never get this kind of reaction to my pitches for my book) Here are some random questions and though...

Rock stars given dress restrictions for the Grammys

Publicists, managers, record company executives (i.e. rock star wranglers) received an email this week from CBS essentially laying down a dr...

Christina Applegate leaves UP ALL NIGHT

Last Friday it was announced that Christina Applegate has decided to exit UP ALL NIGHT in light of the format change from single camera to m...

Friday Questions

Warming you up with Friday Questions…. Michael Stoffel asks: Would you prefer to completely wrap a season before it even starts airing ala t...

This is 40 -- this is my review

Maybe if everybody stops calling Judd Apatow a comic genius he can make some good movies again. I laughed a lot at THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN. ...

Punching the puppet

One of the dangers of writing a spec for an existing show is that you land on a story that they are already in the process of doing. You f...

I want to be a panelist

I want to be a panelist on a TV show. This has always seemed like the greatest job ever. And by “always” I mean, since I was a kid. Back i...

My comments on your comments

My Super Bowl Commercials post has generated a lot of comments. Worth checking them out. Mind if the ol’ blogmeister responds? Reader Car...

Super Bowl commercials were not funny

How many times did you laugh at a Super Bowl commercial yesterday? Three times? Five maybe? Now let’s do the math: Each 30 second spo...

For those who don't know who Paul Harvey is

Here's a repost from 2009 when Harvey passed away.  His Super Bowl commercial was so good that I'm becoming a farmer. On Friday nig...

The "Lost" CHEERS Super Bowl scene

For several years I've been talking about the "Lost" CHEERS scene. David and I wrote it for the 1983 Super Bowl Pre-game show...

The best way to watch MASH

When we did MASH back in the Dark Ages (the 1970’s), it was a pre-digital world. The show was shot in 35 mm film. All of the editing was ...

Friday Questions

My posts on writing this week elicited quite a few Friday Questions. Thought I’d answer them while the subject matter is still fairly fresh...

Not everyone cares about the Super Bowl

It’s Super Bowl week, all everyone is talking about… here in the United States. We Americans seem to forget that there’s the rest of the wo...

Is there laughter in the writers room?

Yes. A lot of it. There is a misconception that comedy writers never laugh.  Although we frequently do just nod and say, “That’s funny, put...

The laugh that almost cost me my career

It was our first staff job. My partner, David Isaacs and I had been hired on THE TONY RANDALL SHOW as “term writers.” That’s the lowest r...

I still can't get over what happened last night

SPOILER ALERT: Contains plot details from last night’s DOWNTON ABBEY This isn’t so much a post about DOWNTON ABBEY as it is about our attac...

How to memorize scripts -- Part 2

Here’ the final  installment in how actors memorize scripts.  Part 1 was yesterday.  These come from actors you know. As you’ll see, no tw...

How to memorize scripts

Based on a reader’s question I surveyed a number of very successful actors and actresses to learn how they memorize scripts. Their answe...

What does Sarah Palin have in common with Ben & Kate?

They were all cancelled.  But that leaves Sarah open for pilot season. 

Will somebody wake up Jane Fonda?

Here are some Friday Questions for your weekend pleasure: Chris leads off: Do you get more royalties if you used to be the showrunner of a s...

Wanted: Comedy writers for Siri

Apparently this is real. According to an article in MacRumors, Apple is looking for people to write comedic answers for Siri. Siri is the ...

The dumbest article I've read in awhile

It appeared in the Huffington Post. The title was Women's Names Ruined By Songs: 23 Names Changed By Music The thrust of the piece was ...

Phantom of the Oprah

A recent Friday Question reminded me of one of the craziest rewrite nights I ever experienced. It was on WINGS. I was the Thursday night p...

My daughter the pole dancer

My daughter, Annie recently took a pole dancing class. Here's her account of it (with help from her writing partner, Jon). As a father...

Meanwhile, at Sundance...

With the Sundance Film Festival going on in Park City, Utah, I thought you'd like a glimpse of what Park City is like. I never attended ...

Speed Dating for Writers

A question I’m always asked is “how do you find a writing partner?”. I met mine in the army but I sure don’t recommend that method. The WG...

Me & the Mariners

For all who have been asking -- I will not be going back to the Seattle Mariners this season.  I will miss my time up there but have a lot o...

The Friday Questions Where Lilith Comes Back

Warming you up with some Friday Questions: Phil Nichols from the UK begins with a FRASIER query: Today they showed your first season episode...

My short-lived career as a newsman

Here’s another chapter from my misguided radio career: As a Top 40 disc jockey in the early ‘70s, I often had to fill multiple roles. In add...

ZERO DARK THIRTY: my review

How do you make a gripping thriller when everyone in the world knows the outcome? Since they didn’t flash SPOILER ALERT on your TV just bef...

The most humble man in Hollywood: Steven Spielberg

In Daniel Day-Lewis’ acceptance speech at the Golden Globes he fawned all over Steven Spielberg and praised him for his “humility.” Steven ...

My review of the Golden Globes

Wow. Did Steven Spielberg not tip well? Why else would the Hollywood Foreign Press (i.e. waiters at the Palm) deny him useless trophies f...

Getting ready for the Golden Globes

Tonight is the whatever-annual Golden Globe Awards on NBC. I will be reviewing them along with my daughter, Annie and her writing partner, ...

My PLAYBILL -- aren't you impressed?

When the musical I co-wrote was produced I was asked to submit my bio for the program. The trouble is, if I list that I am primarily a TV ...

Voting on jokes

Some Friday Questions to send you into another weekend of football: XJill leads off: What do you think of this "the viewers pick the en...

Hollywood is in turmoil!

Show business has faced crises before. Work stoppages due to labor strikes that halted production and crippled the TV and movie industries....

R.I.P. Bill Mouzis

Among the people I wanted to be when I grew up was Bill Mouzis. You’ve probably never heard of him, but he was a hero of mine. He sat in ...

DJANGO UNCHAINED: My review

There’s a famous story in Hollywood about a network executive telling a writer what they were looking for that season. He said, “We want to...

Jimmy Kimmel takes on Jay & Dave

Best of luck to Jimmy Kimmel who tonight begins his show at 11:35 on ABC. Personally, I’ve always liked Kimmel’s show and found his relaxe...

If I wrote DOWNTON ABBEY

DOWNTON ABBEY had become a sleeper hit. Who knew this Edwardian ITV costume drama would attract such a following across the pond? Season 3...

Tips for winter travelers

Traveling is a nightmare anyway, but during the winter it gets even worse. But fear not, blog faithful. Here are some suggestions for win...

Cliff Clavin explains Yorkshire Pudding

Bonus Friday question: Dana Gabbard asks:Maybe you could give us a peek at the legal process a script goes through. I know from reading the...

Follow up questions from yesterday's post

Yesterday’s post on what spec to write has generated a lot of Friday Questions. So let me address them today.  First off, several people as...

What comedy spec to write in 2013?

Here’s a question I get (and am happy to answer) every year. Beardly Mustachington asks: Will you again grace us with your comedy spec reco...

My review of LES MISERABLES

If you loved the stage musical, if you’re a devoted fan, if you can tell the difference between all the songs then you will probably love th...

My New Year's Resolutions

                 Happy New Year! Here are my New Year’s resolutions: Finally watch THE WIRE. Get ALMOST PERFECT on Netflix or Hulu. Go to ...